<--"Baaaaak"
(Beware of sudden downloads and ripe updrafts.) updated 25 July 2012
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<--"Baaaaak" |
Tales from the Outhouse
(Beware of sudden downloads and ripe updrafts.) updated 25 July 2012 |
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Here-here: Tales from the Outhouse Tales from the Outhouse Rookie Points Race Events Schedule A History of Men's Weekend Photo Album Knowledge Base Page  E-mail something for our page. |
Recent
deposits:
Anybody home?!
Take one of these pills... or attend Men's Weekend!!!
images/dave berry solves drug problem.pdf I
feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank
Sinatra One
afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like
this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In
much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest
brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer. A First-time Story found by Baby Barf Belch Boy [Chef
Dave]: Clem drove his pickup alongside the road and showed
his buddy Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by
that there tree. I remember it plain as day. It was a warm summer day...
We were madly in love... We made our way down to that the tree and made
love for hours," explained Clem. "Baaaaa..." A Hunting Story found by Chip: A group of hunters, sitting around the campfire, got to talking about the worst pain they had ever experienced. One listened quietly as the others told their tales of woe. Finally, it was his turn. He said: "Well, the second worst pain I ever experienced happened a few years ago. I was hunting then too, and I really had to go to the bathroom. I looked around and seeing no one, I went behind a tree, pulled my pants down and squatted. But I didn’t realize I was right over a bear trap and, suddenly, it snapped shut on my testicles." The other men winced and one said, "Oh, that must have hurt. But if that was the second worst pain you’ve ever experienced, what was the worst?" "When I hit the end of the chain." In honor of Tall Paul, & Bryan:
Let's be careful out there...
Found in a folder tucked away- One of our songs: We are the Men's Weekend faithful.
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